So I figured I would let everyone know how it's going at my end LOL Well they could be better in many ways. Am I that bad of a daughter?! A person?! Like seriously, I know I do make my own mistakes and I probably make a million a day. I know I'm not perfect and I won't ever be. So why hold that against me? There are plenty of people out there who would love to have a daughter like me, and plenty of people who would love to be friends with me as well. So what if I'm not all that. The truth is, is that I really am 'cause I know within myself I'm not. Now I think I'm confusing myself LOL But why hold something against another person, human being when you yourself go thru the same problems, feelings, experiences? When I got out of mass last evening, I got a call from home, and I thought I was ready to just leave my life. Yes, I just wanted to go and not be here anymore. On the other end of the line, what I heard was pretty much what I had to go thru when I was living at home all the time. You would think that since I'm living at school most of the time that that anxiety, stress of what's going to happen to me today would be relieved a bit more, but it never does. "You shouldn't do that!", "Don't do that, do this!", "You need to try harder". Well those were just the 'nice' versions of what I got on the phone. Sometimes I just wish I could run away from it all. I know someday, whenever that may be, I will be able to escape all this and live the life I want to, and be happy about it. Whatever may happen to me out there when my time comes, I know I will survive. It won't be easy, but I'm ready for what comes my way.

Some time ago, when I had gone home for the weekend, I usually go on Friday afternoon and return back to school on Sunday early afternoon sometime, things had gone good thru the weekend and I was happy it had (for once, how often does that happen with me). I had packed my things and put them in the car, and before I left, was making sure I had everything with me hoping I didn't forget anything. I left my house, angry and frustrated of how could she ruin my weekend when things had gone well. Just as I was about to leave, she had to cause an argument. Why now, why couldn't you of done this sooner?! And it was about something stupid, as she always seems to find something stupid to cause a problem. And I was doing good not to keep at it as I knew it could be a problem and argument avoidable. But no, she kept at it, and I just had to end it before it got worse, so I said "I'm leaving now, bye" and ran out the door. I just couldn't stay there any longer, for fear of what will happen if I stayed there any longer. Someone had to be the adult in the situation, and even tho running out the door in anger wasn't one of the best things to do usually, in that situation, I had too. Sometimes you just have to leave the room to let the steam go before you say or do something you will regret. Many times, I do wish I could just be the kid I am (still in a sense, even tho I know I'm an adult as well), and enjoy life now as much as I can when not concentrating on school and some other things. After all, I'm going to be looking back at this time, and remember what I did and how I felt. But nonetheless, I can look back on this event and know how I handled the situation was probably the best and right thing to do as how I thought an adult would handle it. Btw, when I got back to school, it takes about a little over an hour to return there from home, I called home and said I had arrived and I was going to do whatever I was going to. End of story.

In other news, school has been interesting. The past couple of weeks, I've been really stressed. With school work, and some personal problems, sometimes it's difficult to keep it together. There have been many times I have just cried in my dorm, thinking about how I wish things would become easier. But they won't, they never do. They will become much, much harder before it gets easier. I think to myself, it's ok to cry and let it all out, it's ok to take a break from it all once in a while to think, it's ok to go out and take a walk or a drive to refocus. Everyone should and can do that because you just need to once in a while. It does help. Lately I'm trying to do some of these things to make things 'easier' for me, so the stress and anxiety can lessen. In some cases it works, and others it doesn't. But that life and there is no way to make everything better, or easier for that matter. I just got to keep at it because even tho there will be another task for me to do all over again at the end, I will happy, proud, relieved that I accomplished the previous task and however big or small it may be, I'm better and it and can say with a high head, "I did it!" The person I'm at the end of each experience, is a much better, stronger person and I should be proud of that no matter the circumstance. It's so much better to think positive of how it's over now, you survived and knowing you can handle something more because you're just going to feel so good about yourself at the end. Sometimes, some situations have a bad, or not so good ending. It happens. And I've been there. As difficult as it may be/seem at that time, it will be time before it goes away. It may get worse before it gets better, but I try myself at least to remember that it won't last forever. The stress I'm going thru at school and with personal problems may seem endless and will never go away, but in time they will and I just have to do my best to cope with it. It won't take control of me, or my life, I won't let it. Sometimes it seems/feels like I'm weak and not in control, but I just have to come above that and get myself together again. It will be ok at the end. I won't give up. I will be a much stronger, better person at the end and these experiences will be with me forever to learn from them. I have dreams I want to fulfill, and even if my past experiences sometime may not seem like they will be of any significance to my future, well it depends on how I interpret them, as it goes for anyone. And one thing I do know for sure, you are NEVER to old to dream and live it out! I won't give up that easy, and as a woman I deeply respect once said, "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." As Eleanor Roosevelt became and lived her wonderful life, I will do the same as I want to be the best person I can. I will fight thru it!

Ok, so I was going to add this blog yesterday, but I thought I would wait until today to post it. So as you read it, remember it was written yesterday because in the first paragraph it talks about that day and the ones before it. You will see what I mean.

Hi everyone: So I'm in my dorm crying, and thinking what I did wrong this weekend. Things were going good and then all of a sudden, I was like what did I do wrong this time. I don't even know how it happened and it has left me with red eyes right now. The only good thing about what happened is that it made me think back to everything I have gone thru and I realized something. I've never really told anyone the whole story and I think it's best not just for me, but for other people to know my story. Who knows how any people have been thru some of my experiences and are afraid to come out and share them. If someone else needs to stand up and do what's right, that will be me. Sharing my story can save a life. And if you wish to share my story with others, you may. And it would be great to know if you do.

For those of you who may not know, I'm adopted. My mom was 17 going on 18 at the time and living in a small town in Portugal, being poor and also having my sister at the age of 16 going on 17, she just knew she couldn't take care of me. Then, she knew what she had to do and no mother wishes to give up their kid. But her being the strong brave person she was, she gave me up for adoption. I wasn't even born yet when I was. As long as I can remember, I've known I was adopted and also that I had a sister. When I was 8, I got a letter from this lady who had helped with the adoption, and she said that my mom had died of cancer. I don't exactly what kind or when. At that time, being so young, I didn't know what that meant and I couldn't imagine what my sister was going thru having to grow up with my mom. Sometimes I wish I could of met her once before she died, my mom that is. Even if I never got a chance to meet her, it hurts. I may not have gotten a chance to meet her or got to know who she was, she was still my mom, the one who really cared and wanted the best for me. My sister, we talked a few times and lately it has been really distant. My dad, I don't know who he is, where he is or anything about him but one day I hope I can find out.

Ever since I was a little girl, I never really had a good family. My mom's side lives in Canada and I don't really see them ever or get a chance to talk to them. The times that we got to see each other, it was weird cause I don't fit in at all with them. And I always had to see some of them arguing a lot, especially with my grandma too. Being younger, I was scared. My dads side, well it's a lot worse. He has 2 sisters, both younger. The older sister, well her and my dad don't talk anymore. It has been YEARS. And the other sister, they started to argue, and my mom got/was involved so they just stopped talking to each other as well and that was 3 years ago since I last heard or seen her. My dad and my grandpa, they just stopped talking for some reason which I don't even know why. So growing up without much of a family, I was lost. I grew up seeing people arguing, some had alcohol problems, divorces, abuse in some cases. That has definitely had an affect on a young kid like me at the time. Of course, no matter what people said to the younger kids, we would always find a reason to blame it on ourselves.

I can remember being so young, and there were specific times I remember getting abused. The reason I don't really know exactly but I do remember being abused. Of course, as a kid growing up I had my share of troubles, but that's part of growing up. There was no need for the abuse I got. Violence wasn't and isn't to this day, the answer. And what I mean about abuse, was the it was both physical and mentally/emotional. Even to this day, I still get mentally/emotional abuse from home. That's why I said I don't like going home cause I don't know if things are going to be good or bad. There were times where I tried sticking up for myself, and that made things worse. I've always been second best to my brother. My parents couldn't be more proud of him because one, he has a job he enjoys a lot and is making good money. But I on the other hand, will be getting a job I will love to do also but they (my parents) always criticize me cause they don't like it. I always tell them that I'm going to be happy doing what I enjoy doing like my brother, no different. Yeah, the amount of money I get won't be as much, but I don't need money to be happy. What I will be making will be enough for me to get what I need to survive, I don't need anything else because money doesn't buy happiness, you make the happiness you deserve.

There's something else I have been keeping my whole life. Some people know some parts of my life that I shared above, but this I never told anyone but 2 or 3 people. I was about 6 or 7 years old, around there. I remember the location, the places in the basement. Even upstairs too but that wasn't as frequent. What I'm talking about, well, I suppose you could say I was molested. I didn't know what it was at the time, and I didn't say anything to anyone cause I was told not too. You might be wondering who did this to me. It was my grandpa. To this day and for many more years to come, I cannot tell my family what happened. But I will tell it to the rest of the world because I want to stop it to other children. And to just get things straight, because that happened to me, doesn't mean that was the reason why I'm a lesbian today. I knew I was gay before I was molested.

Ok, so just because I'm only 19, doesn't mean I don't know what's out there because I do. I had to grow up at a very young age. I've been thru my share of hell. And I do know I have a lot more to learn and I cannot wait to. I'm making a stand to share my story now, because I don't want to be hiding, keeping quiet whatever you want to call it because I want to help others like me. Things will be better for you in the future, don't ever let go of hope because if you do, you will get lost and lose your sense if wonder. I've tried remaining as strong as I could, and I know that will everything I have been through, I'm a better person now. I'm stronger, smarter and now that I'm sharing my story, I hope I can save a life. Be an inspiration to others. Follow your heart and do what's right because I will never no matter how hard the road may be for me in the future. I will be a leader for others who need it, because I will not follow what I've gone through. I'm the leader for doing what's right and making a difference.

Since the first day of college this year, I was hoping it would be a better experience that last year and so far it has been. Last year was like an experience and unfortunately it wasn't a good one. But this year, I'm like thinking to myself I pray it's better. Luckily, yes it happened. My classes are going well I suppose. They could be a lot worse. Also I have become more involved with activities on campus since I live on here. I am not traveling over an hour everyday for an 8 am class. And anyway, it's too far for me to travel each day. Sooo, I've become more involved with this little church we have on campus, every Tuesday, there's a bible study in the evening, and on every Wednesday, there's mass also in the evening. On certain Thursdays, there's a dinner there and I suppose a movie or games or something rather or another after. It was fun I suppose but it is just the beginning and I'm sure it will get better. There is also the GLBT Pride Center I'm involved with. On the second and fourth Wednesdays of every month, there's a discussion like meeting where we go to and hang out and talk about certain things and help each other out. On the third Thursday, there's a movie they do and I decided to do that too to hang out with people etc. With the Church and Pride Center, there's other little extra events that go on but don't seem as consistent as to what I said so far. But all in all, they are great and I'm glad I'm involved in these two.

There are also some other activities around campus I want to check out and see how they are. One is the AWARE on campus which happens every Thursday evening, so I'm hoping to start that out this week. At least that takes care of my Thursdays more often lol. (Tuesdays Bible study, Wednesday either Mass or Pride Center and then certain Thursdays possibly Church or Pride Center)...but otherwise on Thursdays it's the AWARE. Oh and I almost forgot that today when I checked my school email, there's these student announcements we get daily, and when I went to check it out, there was this one thing that said there was am English Society "meeting" later on today for anyone who is interested in joining a club like that. This 'club/organization' or open to any student or any major to join so this evening I will go see how it is and hopefully this is something I can do also. And I'm hoping if I do decide to do it, that we meet on Mondays LOL :-P

Besides what I'm doing on campus, I've had some time to myself to get my work done ahead to be able to do what I want to do. One thing is to catch up on my reading. I've started to read "Might as well laugh about it now" by Marie Osmond. I find it quite interesting and funny so far. I can' stop reading it. I also started to learn to teach myself to dance different genres of dance like Ballroom to start off with, but of course it's just the basics until I find a partner, if I ever do. Anyone interested?? LOL Oh! and for all you country gals and girls out there, I FINALLY learned how to line dance to the song "'Good Time" by Alan Jackson. I cannot wait to learn how to dance to other country songs. Anyone have any suggestions?? And I guarantee I will be able to learn it within an hour like I did with the Jackson song. Besides reading and my learning to dance, I will begin to learn french. Like English, Portuguese and Spanish isn't enough. :-P hehe. Well now that I bored you with my blabbering, I am off to get ahead of my work once again so I can be more free later on today and the week.

hey y'all. I'm so excited and couldn't be happier. Sunday of last week, I moved back to college. I spent the afternoon unpacking and having a good time. Then I had 2 days to myself which was nice. Classes started on Wednesday and they seem interesting and fun. I still haven't had all my classes yet as on Mondays, I have a lab for my Bio class on some mornings. Otherwise college is going well. There some things going on campus that I cannot wait for them to come sooner. I planned on going to them for a long time now and I just want those days to come. But all comes in good time. As a Bruins game I'm going too. I believe I'm going next month with someone. It will be just the two of us and I'm so excited. My first Bruins game ever!!! =D Well, I thought I would update really quick of why it's been a while since I've been here. Once I finish up with some work for school, I will be back and I should pop in a couple more times this week as I do my work ahead. Bye for now. 

So as the summer finishes off, I look back at what has happened and it has been one of the worst summers I can ever remember. For the first two months or so, it has been raining mostly, with a couple days of the sun sneaking in, and once the rain had settled, it continued to rain on and off a few days here and there. When I was at work the other day, I was working sometime in the afternoon until close, it was still sunshine out. At about 6:30-7pm (which it doesn't get dark until 8:30-9 here), it got pitch black. Apparently there was a tornado watch until 9 that night, so everyone who was working thought that we would leave early and close down for safety purposes. But the people who were at the front end didn't want to. As costumer after costumer came thru my line, I could see some lightning starting. When I was free, I turned my head towards the window, I saw a lightning bolt and I was scared after that and thinking why the heck aren't we going to close early for the safety of everyone. Moments later, it stared to pour and continued that way for about an hour later. We remained opened but I wasn't too happy as something could of happened. That was just one of the memorable instances that I won't ever forget at word during the summer at least.

I also went to a wedding in June, four days after my birthday. It went good I suppose, except for that the bride showed up about a half hour late because of traffic. I don't think I put up the pictures of that day but I will soon. I also have a few more pictures to put up here as I just never did. Way to go Sara!! Hehe. I haven't been able to go to the beach or any water parks once this summer which we always do every year at least once ='( The only time I was able to go in water was a pool party I went too but the weather wasn't even that good.

Also in June, I went to a friend's graduation (which I will put pics up lol) and I was excited. It was too long tho! This was the first summer I was able to have my own car and drive it by myself. I'll be doing it on my own now to go to college and back home. I know I won't be coming home often lol.

I move back in to college on the 30th....5 days!!! =DDD Trying to get a room was not easy but I got one. It was a double but when I found out who my roommate was, I emailed her to see what she was bringing like in terms for a fridge, microwave etc. but she told me she dropped out of housing so I don't have a roommate at the moment. Oh well.

So facebook is still exciting...seems like there's more going on there than spaces and myspace. Never say never like you won't get any as I said I would never get either a facebook or myspace. But once I found out that I had more friends and family on there than I realized, I'm like...I was wrong. I'm just glad I can keep in touch with them because of that.

So I've been throughout the summer writing things here and there, like I've had in the past. But the last few pieces, I wanted to try to write songs...as I do have a few notes on the piano made up, so I'm like why not. The problem is, is that it ended up more like a less of a song and more like a poem or something rather another you know? So as I'm thinking of what I want to talk about in future blogs...I'll start with something I made up to give me ideas...who knows....I might come up with another Sara-Fly War hehe. But the thing is....is that these next 2 pieces aren't necessarily finished yet..they are still incomplete and I'll be working on them more.

When I close my eyes tonight, I'll be thinking of you, As I always do, I'll be dreaming, Of all the times we've spent, I fall asleep now, With a smile on my face, And knowing when I wake up, With the morning sunshine, Coming through my window, My heart will be smiling too. You will forever be loved by me, No matter what we go through, You will always find me there, All those good times and the bad, That have and will be shared together.

the beauty in your soul, the sunshine in your eyes, the warmness in your heart, is a little part of why I love you so, you smile so perfectly, you laugh just the same, being in your arms-priceless.

Ok, someone call the watch dogs to come and find me. It seems as if I had run away from you all. It's not true. I'm sorry I haven't been much to chat with you all here. I have so much to say yet so little to talk to you all about. The summer has been so crazy for me and I just don't know what to do anymore. I am looking forward to going back to college at the end of the month...well moving in that is. I cannot wait. When I have the time...which will be in the next few days...I will be back to the old Sara you all use to remember when I blogged. I'll be blogging and adding new pics. So I hope you are all ready for the updates in which you haven't been having lately. Yes, easier said than done, but y'all know me :P So until I pop in again tomorrow...how's y'all doing? Any exciting summer stories? Be glad to hear anything new. All my love, Saraaaa

When you feel so alone, with no one to go to like friends or family, what do you do? Even if you talk to some people on occasion, doesn't it feel like that sometimes they are distant or they act different than they did before? I know many of us feel that sometimes we are the only ones in the world and everyone walked out on us. How do you handle something like, or a similar situation?

I'm sorry I have been distant from here, and in effect, I have lost a few friends. I hope that no matter how often I blog, I won't lose any more. I have been so busy this summer looking for a 2nd job but know it won't be easy. I've also been going through so much at home that it is so unbearable and have been looking for a place to move out to.

Since I have been away from here (spaces), I've been thinking of what I really want to use this for. Facebook, I use to meet new friends and connect with old ones and that is where I am most of the time. That is where I feel I am able to connect to more people. Myspace, I use to find old friends and ones I know presently and keep meeting. But what about spaces? This is where I can meet new people, and then anyone else I know from facebook or myspace that I have met. Unlike facebook and myspace, spaces allows me to write what I feel. It's like my own journal. And that is what I'm going to try to do more often. I need to let out what has happened and what I feel on here. I hope I can reach out to others who are in my position. On the other hand, facebook is more like a "live", more interacting place I can reach others and I am more than happy to accept anyones friend request. That goes along with myspace. It's a new perspective. Spaces has given me a new view on how I can reach people, how I can meet others in a different way. I have gone through so much these last couple of months (as well as my whole life) but more greatly in the last few months. I feel that I can let it out here more than facebook and myspace in a different perspective. So if you would like to know more about or reach me another way, feel free to look me up on facebook or myspace.

Hi Everyone! Hope you are all ok. I just wanted to pop in quickly to say hello and that I don't know when I will be blogging again as usual. I am expecting starting tomorrow night. I won't be around tomorrow checking up with everyone as I have because it's my birthday. Yes it is. I cannot wait. Although my birthday did start at 7pm because I am European LOL So I get an extra 5 hours HAHA Anyway, I hope my birthday will go well! See y'all soon and behave everyone! ;-P

Hi EVERYONE!!!!! :-D Woow, has it been a looong time since I really gave a descent blog! LOL Well now I am!!! I'm on summer vacation for a couple of weeks now. Since I got home, I've been working, or looking for another. It was a pain because for that first week, week and a half I called in, the guy who usually does the scheduling wasn't in. So I was filling in for people. Finally, after the longest time, I was able to reach him buuut he still didn't give me a set schedule. Today I went there and I still don't have one. I also have been looking for a second job because one, I'm not getting enough hours and two, I could the extra money.

It seems as if I don't have much to talk about yet I do. HAHA. My emotions have been going off LOL But what's new, I'm a woman. LMAO!!! Oh well. I don't have much planned for the summer. Well I kind of do actually. I'm working of course, going to some water parks, the beach, and a wedding 4 days after my birthday!! That will be exciting. And if I do take pics, I promise I will post them up. Well, I'm gunna get back to my movie search 'cause I wanna watch one before bed. And I will be blogging more, but it will probably be at night. So I hope everyone will come by more often! I just really wanted to let everyone know I'm alive. LOL I miss all of you soooo much! Love y'all.

Hello everyone! I'm sorry I have not blogged in about a month's time. I will explain all that has happened in the next one tomorrow I hope. I want to take this time right now to take a moment (or two) in silence. I asked for you to pray for 2 friends: Al and Pat. The have sadly passed away within two days time. It is a shame that two wonderful people had to go. We will miss, love and never forget you two. You will forever be in our hearts!!! May god bless you and your family in this time. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. God bless you all!

Again it's been a while but college has been busy, plus going out here and there. Nothing much really new. I just wanted to stop in for now to say I'm still here, and I always check up to see how my friends are doing. If I don't write anything for a while, just know I'm still here. My feelings/emotions just have been jumping all over the place and I don't have the same energy as I usually have had (as you all know). Hope everyone will still be here whenever I come back. It could be tomorrow, or in a week, I just don't know yet. Hope to see you soon!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1ZpiAGVJN0&feature=related

To all my friends...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDURv8fj9dk

12 days since I've been on here. Not much has been going on. It's the usual college stuff all the time. This is my second week staying at college and I'm excited. The only bad thing is that I have to go home next week and I'm not excited for that. I'm scared of what will happen when I'm there.

I'm really excited baseball season started already, or at least is on it's way. It's about time. They need to shorten the seasons (of each sport too!) 'cause they seem just too long. But nonetheless, I'm sooo excited for baseball. I still have my hockey going on for a little bit more so I may take a peek at the remaining games if I get a chance too.

Haha, I seriously just woke up 10 minutes ago, and I'm like I should write a blog 'cause it's been so long. Things could be a lot better, but I then again, I guess they could be worse. I just wanted to pop in to say I'm still here and I do get around as much as I can to everyone's place and I do check my email daily. Sometimes it takes me longer to write a blog LOL But I'm not leaving you all. I do check Facebook more often than spaces tho (even if I do go on them everyday) so I'll more than likely be over there if not here.

I actually did get a wordpress.com place. I got it for a purpose. I want that to only be a place to make me write all the good things, like anything I write or inspires me. I need a place where I can go to to reflect back on. I have the link... http://sarinha2004.wordpress.com/ I choose sarinha 'cause my grandpa used to call me that since I was a child, and then 2004, 'cause that's the year he died. But that's another story, maybe the next blog, I don't know yet.

So I am officially on Spring Break. And yes I am home already. This sucks cause I want to go back to school. Yes, you heard right...I WANT TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL!!! I LOVE IT!!! It's my life and one thing I will never get sick off. I feel at home there. Anyways, back to Spring Break talk. I don't really have anything planned. I do have plenty of school work to like lots of reading. Fun fun fun (til daddy takes the t-bird away lol ;-) Other than schoolwork, I'm gunna try to lose some weight especially since there is a new tread mill at home. So far, it hasn't been used as a laundry holder. LOL!! Too bad there isn't any real big plans. Vacation is going to be boring.

I did hear an update on that girl that got hit by a car. Apparently she wasn't hit near my dorm as it was assumed, however that incident was another story. The girl that got hit was somewhere else near my college but unfortunately that girl died. What a shame :(

A funny little story happened to me. My camera is getting more and more pictures on it and I was thinking I needed to upload them on my laptop before I go home and everything. Well, I was looking for the cord to plug into my camera and then into the laptop. I searched and searched for that darn cord but couldn't find it anywhere. I was certain I had brought it back to school when I packed. Unfortunately, I figured that I must of left it in a drawer I usually put it in along with my camera. When I got home, I checked but the cord wasn't there. At school, I was scared and nervous like what it something happened to it. But when I saw that the cord wasn't in my drawer at home, I was like, OMG!!! Well, I was unpacking, getting my laundry started and so on, and guess what I saw at the bottom of one of the bags. The cord!! Like wth!!! I had that bag at school and I didn't even bother to look in it. Don't get me wrong, I was glad I found it, but seriously, I think I am forgetting more and more. LOL. Hope you all have a wonderful weekend. My movies are waiting for me. Love you all.

I know it's been a while since I came here but since it's a snow day today, why not right? LOL. Anyways, we are hit with more snow here in New England. So far, we got quite a bit and I really want to get some pics but I may have to wait until tomorrow to gets some. It's getting late here and I have been in my dorm all day and I really don't feel like going out. So that's something for me to do tomorrow. I've been in my dorm all day. My back is very sore and my head is aching, so I've been trying to rest all day. Not working out to well. Tonight I was suppose to go help Amanda kid sit her two younger cousins but there was a change of plans so that will be on Wednesday night instead. That will be exciting.

I convinced my parents to let me stay the weekend again at college. I have been here for two weeks (which will happen more and more now 'cause I love being here so much (and my dad doesn't have to drive here every other weekend). But I called home and told my mom that it wouldn't make sense for me to go home this past weekend, then go home again this coming weekend because next week is Spring Break. So I stayed here for another weekend. The only thing about going home that is exciting it that there is now a thread mill which I will be using in the morning and at night. Woohooooo!!! :-)

On Thursday, I went with one of my roommates to a spaghetti dinner at the small church they have here on campus and it was really fun. Actually, with my luck, when the priest came, he sat at our table!! WOOOO!!! That was sooo much fun and he told us many stories when he was younger. That was interesting and I really enjoyed that. From now on (probably starting after Spring Break) I am going to mass every Wednesday. I remember when I was younger and I had to go to my grandma's, I would go to church with her. I stopped way tooo many years ago going there and I miss going to church. So I will go to mass on Wednesday nights until school ends.

So I checked my email today and I received this letter from a friend. It's one of those letters that you get and it says to pass it on and so forth. I choose to do something different, and more special. This means more to me then just sending it thru email. I wanted to share this story. It really touched my heart. The girl in this story reminded me of something I would most certainly do. So here's the story....I cut and past the middle part because the beginning and end was saying to pass it on and such to ten people...blah blah blah. Here, I can reach everyone.

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, 'Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd.' I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on. As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him.. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, 'Those guys are jerks.' They really should get lives.

' He looked at me and said, 'Hey thanks!' There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried some of his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play a little football with my friends He said yes. We hung out all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him, and my friends thought the same of him.

Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, 'Boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday! ' He just laughed and handed me half the books. Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends.. When we were seniors we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor and I was going for business on a football scholarship..

Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak Graduation day, I saw Kyle. He looked great.. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than I had and all the girls loved him. Boy, sometimes I was jealous Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, 'Hey, big guy, you'll be great!' He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. ' Thanks,' he said.

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began 'Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends.... I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story.' I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. 'Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable..' I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.

Never underestimate the power of your actions.. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or for worse. God puts us all in each other’s lives to impact one another in some way. Look for God in others. You now have two choices, you can : 1) Pass this on to your friends or 2) Delete it and act like it didn't touch your heart. As you can see, I took choice number 1. 'Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.' There is no beginning or end.. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift.. It's National Friendship Week. Show your friends how much you care. Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND.

I know I haven't posted in a while..sorry about that. It's been a busy last two weeks. I have been swamped with papers, tests, quizzes and so on. That's college for ya. Haha

I took a spanish test the first Friday about two weeks ago. We got it back for a second just to see what we got 'cause our professor didn't put the grades yet in, buuut I got a 100%. Woop Woop!!! On my first test too!!! :-D We also had other quizzes in that class which I got all 100% on them except for a couple that I got a 95, 90 and I think one in the 80"s..or some grades like that....so it's still all good. English, History and my English seminar are keeping me challenged but I'm trying my best to hang in there. And then there is math class...Eileen..you will be glad to know that on my last quiz which I got today...ended up being a 94% if I'm not mistaken. How about that?? Is that better to hear??!! LOL

The past two weekends I also was staying at college and my S.O. (significant other for those of you who have forgotten lol), came to stay the weekend and I was excited. We had a good time. We recently celebrated our 3, yes 3, month anniversary and things could not be better. Happy, joy, tears, everything, you name it, we've been thru. Seriously...you wouldn't believe all the things we have been thru and what is between us couldn't be any more stronger. This past weekend, we went to that pond I told you all about and it was great. There are some paths there and I brought her to the other side and showed her around. And of course I took pics but somehow I lost the cord to upload them so once I find it, I find it, here they come. LOL. Then on Sunday, we went to the game room here on campus that is really close to my dorm. It was great. We played: pool, ping pong (which we couldn't stop laughing playing it hahaha), foosball, then some more pool. So that was fun and gave us something to do.

College is the usual. Sorry if I'm skipping around...sooo many things have been happening. Ohhhh!!!! Something big happened here at college. I was coming back from my dorm the other day and as I was going to my dorm, I see 4 cop cars in between my dorm and the building right next to it. I thought it might of been an accident or something but I was wayyyy off. I found out that the car I saw there hit a girl and she went flying. Apparently when she landed, she didn't move when someone or a couple of people went to ask if she was ok. She was just laying there. The girl had to be air lifted there to a Boston hospital. It was on the news but I missed it and it hadn't been news'd around campus yet. Hope she is ok but I doubt it.

Let's see....the semester is almost half way over. I can't believe it. Pretty soon I will be able to say I'm a sophomore in college. Woooow...aren't you guys happy I have a camera and I can take pics of me so y'all can see what it's like here...and not just what I say?!?!?! Anyways...I'm at supper right now and one of my friends just got here so I'm off. Later y'all. Love you all sooo much. Muahh. :)

So as we all know, Valentine's was yesterday. I had a great day. It was a day of emotions. Laughter. Crying. Excitement. Joy. Every emotion was felt yesterday. I had six parts to give to Amanda. The first was when we were web-caming on Friday night into Saturday. I told her that once midnight came around, I would give her the first of 6 parts. But how could I if we weren't actually there? Well you see, I sent her two e-cards. And yuuup, she got teary-eyed. Too bad I wasn't there to wipe away the tears. LOL. The 2nd of the 6, was when she first got to my dorm. It was a card and a heart shaped cookie that said I Love You in the front. I also had written a little note in the card. The 3rd of the six was a little later. Around lunch time, I brought Amanda to this pond (which y'all know about 'cause I mentioned it and I do have a couple of pics on my space). There we spent some time together. I brought Amanda thru this path (and I knew where I was going because I was there a few times previously before) and when we got there, I read a poem I had written to her. After, I took some pics which I'll post soon once I find the cord hahaha. When we arrived back to my dorm, we warmed up, Amanda took a nap and I was just hanging around. When she woke up, I brought out a stuffed bear, with a hooded read jacket that said "Be Mine". I also gave her candy (twix's and skittles) wrapped up in paper. When my roommate left with her boyfriend, (a couple hours later), came part 5 of 6. It was a song dedication to her. I choose to dance with her to the song, ""Have I told you lately that I love you" by Rod Stewart. It was great. I did try to sing to her but with my horrible voice, I doubt she enjoyed it. Hehe. ;-) After the song, I choose to give her the last of the 6 parts since we were in the moment. I made her open this little part first which was a necklace with two keys on it. The keys were part of the next part she would open...a diary. Once she opened it, it had dates, times, days of the week, and the notes under there of the texts I had sent her since Jan. 2009. It had also quotes here and there, pics she had drawn, poems, the song we danced to, the poem I wrote her and so on. On the front cover and back covers, I wrote a message to her. She cried. Yup, I made my girlfriend cry. Thank God I was there to wipe her tears. :) BTW, in case y'all wondering, I got one of my fav. candy (mnm's) and two drawings she did. So overall we had a wonderful Valentine's. Oh and I will post the poem I wrote to my girl :) So how was y'alls Valentine's.

I love Friday the 13th because it reminds me of Halloween. Superstitions going around, you can perhaps play tricks on people to get them thinking and scared (like I would ever do that...nope hehe), and so much more. Although I am sure people have their beliefs on this (which if anyone does, it would nice to know to learn about it), Friday the 13th, to me is like any other day. The funny thing is, this morning my phone alarm went off a couple of times but I still ended up falling asleep and when I woke up, I realized class started in 14 minutes and I still had to get dressed, and walk across campus (takes like 15 minutes to get there) and figure out what's going on in class. I got ready in 9 minutes (also because I had to run straight across my dorm room to the bathroom LOL), and was about 10 minutes late to class. Luckily I didn't miss anything. Phew! Why do I have only one class on that side of campus?? LOL kidding. But days like this happen, so I don't think it was because of Friday the 13th.

So this week has been really hectic for me. That's why I haven't blogged much. When I was finished with homework, I just wasn't in the mood or had the energy to blog. I figured I would today so now one thought I abandoned y'all. I wouldn't do that cause I have amazing friends here. I had papers, quizzes, homework and tests going on this week. The papers, I know I probably didn't do so good on them, but I know I can make it up with other things. Usually for me, the first papers, tests and quizzes I don't do too good, but I am getting use to how each professor does them. I have plenty of time to regain myself. I was nervous actually for my Spanish test today. I didn't have enough time to study for it at all but I did do very well on the quizzes, I studied for them, did a homework assignment that was mandatory (and did well on for the most part), took notes, and payed attention in class. But I still really wanted to study and I would of perhaps felt more comfortable. When I got the test, well actually, my perspective changed. I think I aced it...I'm going for a 98% on it. I'll keep you posted. Now if I could get grades like that in my other classes. LOL.

Valentine's is tomorrow, and for the first time in years, I am excited, thanks my S.O. (significant other). I have planned 6 parts of the gift for her. She is going crazy 'cause she has no idea what any of them are. Hehehe. I did joke around with her saying that I would tell her what it is but then was like, "yeah right! You're dreaming!!" LOL. I also said I was sending a picture text to her and it would be one of the gifts. HEHE. Noooot! It was just a picture of me tho :) For 5 of the 6 parts, it will be happening here in my dorm and 1 of the 6 parts will happen at this pond near my college I told everyone here about. So, has anyone have any big plans for tomorrow? Once I figure out how to add pictures to this place, I will be dropping by. But until then, I just want to let everyone know I'm not ignoring you if I don't leave one in return!! I hope you all have a Happy Valentine's Day!!